25 April 2010

Brain Binge and Post Script

I have the band.
I have 8.5 cc's in my  11cc band.
I have somewhat good restriction in my band.

Then why does my brain want to binge??
I have a bit of anxiety right now.. I leave at 5:30 am tomorrow for a week long trip.  
I am going to be on this trip with  7 of my work colleagues. ... and the last thing I feel like doing is spending all day and evening with them, but I will; hence my anxiety; hence my desire and actions to binge (on food).

So I know better.
I know that I should look for a healthy snack.
I should go for a walk or exercise to release the tension.
I should do something else... something other than eat 3 healthy choice ice cream sandwiches (yes that is  a slider food of sorts).
No, it was not just the ice cream, it was almonds, I must have eaten 30 almonds.. and there was other stuff.. Why am I punishing myself.. I will already be in hell, so why do I make it worse??
I binged on what I would call my healthy treats; but they turned on me, and it was no treat.

Now I must go pack my bag..
And hope that my week away does not drive me to raid some hallway vending machine, or make middle of the night calls down to room service.

I am hoping to hit the gym at the hotel, but I know that several of them work out in the morning, and the last thing I want is forthem to see me sweating and panting.. (can you say AWKWARD)...

Oh Lord, let it be Friday... let it be Friday so that the next day will be Saturday and then my DH and I will be on another plane on our way to Florida for two weeks...
I will need that two weeks to let my brain heal..

Have a good night..

As I was pulling my stuff together.. what do I find in my luggage, but my Chloe's bone (she apparently wanted me to take it along.)


  1. I'm sorry you have such a stressful time coming up. Keep your eye on the prize of the vacation afterwards!

  2. Brain Binging. That is a good term for it! I do that all to often and was thinking that it would be the topic of my next post.

    Don't let your co-workers stop you from using the gym!

  3. Stress is a big trigger for me too. Good luck on your trip and hopefully Friday will come quickly for you.

  4. I will definitely be wishing the best for you this week. I started binging on "healthy" treats today, too. I'm nervous about going back to work tomorrow because I feel so craptastic. Not really a choice, though. I don't know know why I punish myself this way... it doesn't make me feel better, either. I can relate. Tonight, I'm just trying to be gentle with myself. No calorie damage done, but psychologically, well... that's still a long road...

  5. Yikes, Barbara, this just bites, doesn't it? I hope the work travel goes OK. Just keep envisioning the Florida sunshine and you'll get through it. If you don't want to hit the hotel gym with your colleagues, maybe some good walks will help clear your mind? Regardless, I'll be thinking of you. Have a good week!

  6. Sorry Barbara, I hope the week goes quickly! Maybe do some in-room yoga or something?

  7. Oh that is so cute!!!! I hope the week goes well....you must take care of you because if you don't no one else will. Go for a walk outside if the gym is too much and do not order room service or I will fly over there and get you.....

  8. I hope this week goes fast and then it sounds like you'll be having a fun 2 weeks. I hear you on stress, but it will be over before you know it... hugs and love. I totally get it.
    You can do this, one foot in front of the other.

    And isn't it great that you have insight into wanting to eat emotionally-- that is a definite step towards being a BETTER eater for good. Just b/c your brain wants to binge, you DON'T HAVE TO listen (every time.) The awareness is really worthwhile so good on ya'.

    Take care-- xo V