So .. I arrived home from my B-trip at 1:30 am Friday.
I stayed at a very phoo phoo spa and golf resort
I have stayed at alot of nice places, this place was over the top.
I met up with people who I have not seen in a year.
And of course my life has changed over the year on so many different levels.
1. my appearance
2. my job responsibilities have expanded greatly
3. I am now .. well I am now alone.
The resort was packed with different meetings and events.
I have to say, it felt good to get out ..
The group was making evening plans and coaxed me to join them.
There were about 15 or so with the group that I went out with; all business associates, most had their spouses along for the trip.
The first night we spent the evening at the resort "sports" bar.
It was packed with probably close to 150 or so of the opposite sex.
Ugh. talk about uncomfortable ...
Let's face it girls, I am 54.
And what was even more uncomfortable was some of the attention I got.
I mean men just walking up to me.
Could it be that dropping the weight has made me even the least bit attractive to the opposite sex.
And can I tell you how absolute guilty I felt having those conversations, allowing myself to laugh and have a good time.
Guility because its only been 9 weeks.. and there I am laughing, having a drink, letting go and forgetting about where I am in life for just those few hours or so.
It must be my catholic roots or something..
I did nothing wrong, obscene or like-wise
Just so F'ing guilty for even having the conversation exchange...
So much so, I didn't even leave my room the next night.
How messed up is that..