First, thank you for all of the tips on getting back to blog comment land.. I can now post!! Yippee.
So last night I was going through my closet, and I have to say, I have flown through the last two sizes (meaning one day I was a size 14 and now I am a solid 12 and 10 in some things). So the 14's look terrible on me.
Wait a minute, read that again..size 14 looks terrible on me..
I can remember last year I would kill to wear a size 14 and now I am bitching that its too big.
And its just not the size that I have become not content with, its looking at my body and wanting to have a better physical shape, or less loose skin or wanting my stomach to look better and interests in grooming and just my general health have sky rocketed.
I am not on the road to obsession about these things but what I have come to recognize is that what I would have been content with or rather settled for last year, is just not where I want to be now.
I really want to be 150 lbs
I really want to wear a size 8/10
I really want my loose skin to go away
I really want to get my nip/tuck
I really want to exercise more
I really want to push my self to be better on so many levels.
So that brings the question, if and when I achieve all of the above.. will I then be content?
I can remember saying when I weighed 240, if I could only weigh 175 I would be so thrilled.
Well, I got to 175 and was happy, but there was just no way in hell I was dropping my bags and staying there.
Anyone else go through this type of crazy thinking??
I think there is a balance. When we care and take pride in our health-its a good thing. At my heaviest, I think I just gave up. Now, I feel proactive about getting my health back, looking good. I don't think your thinking is so crazy.
ReplyDeleteYup... I go thru it a lot (not so much lately)... I think it is a normal part of the process for all of us! And hang in there - given your last few months, all of these things are normal I think! thanks for your sweet post... I have been keeping up with you and praying for you and your family... can't wait to see the next part of your journey and where it takes you! Enjoy your weekend.
ReplyDeletePlus....you never know what you are going to feel like ....or look like until you get there.....RIGHT?
ReplyDeleteI think the problem is when we are at our largest, we don't have a clear idea on what we will look like and feel like when we get down to the wweight we want to be. It does have to be something that can be adjusted as we go :o)
ReplyDeleteOh gosh - I can't imagine 14's being too big. I'm thrilled to fit into a 14 right now. That's SO INCREDIBLE! At the same time, I do understand. I thought if I could just get into the 190's, I'd be so freaking happy. Well, I'm there and ALL I can think about is weighing 180. How incredible that would be now that I'm 9 lbs from it. What will I look like, where will it come off from? Etc.
ReplyDeleteI'm also very excited about your upcoming surgery. I'm definitely noticing skin - of course my stomach, but the crepe-y skin on my boobs is depressing. I even have on my thighs above my knees. I keep saying I must be dehydrated, but I know its really just saggy skin. LOL! I can't wait to hear about your journey!
You are so small now - you need to post some updated pics!
I also said I would be way happy to be 175, and not I am less than 10 lbs from that weight, and I know that I do not want to stay there, but wave at it as I fly by. I think as long as your goal is to be healthy, you will do fine. You are doing amazing!
ReplyDeleteI am thinking that we will find a place and a look that makes us content. And it'll be one of those "I'll know it when I see it" things.
ReplyDeleteOf course I could be totally wrong and instead we'll all end up completely obsessed with plastic surgery and diligently working to look exactly like Barbie...
Totally! I think it is good to set and reach goals. The good thing about life is that we can modify them as we go along. Congrats on shooting through sizes!!
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