05 July 2011

Seance with my BooBs...

go ahead, say I am nuts..
I can take it.
After all the pain med I have been on.. I know when I am and am not imagining things..

So last night, I decided to have a Seance and call my boobs down...to have a talk.

For those of you who have been here, you know the boobs kind of hang high until they are motivated to drop into place.

I am impatient.. so I decided I would do this through a seance.

I light the lavendar candle and turned off all of the lights.

After a sip of Smirnoffs twisted lemon, I began the call ..

I sense there are two D's in the room... answer if you hear me.

No answer..

Let it be known that the two D's sometimes go by the names Thelma and Louise..

Ah... something twitched.  and so the communication began..

Alright girls.. look.. I know that this is all new to you.. as it is to me, but you just got to start to move south a bit.. I feel like I have two honeydew mellons under my chin... and its not feeling too good.

I have enough to deal with with the eyes, and under my neck, could you two girls PLEASE just cooperate and start to head south...
After all I am doing the friggin snow angel exercises .. I look like some one on the tarmac waving a 737 into the terminal..

You girls have until thursday morning to drop.. cause on Thursday the doc is going to take a look at you and suggest a more aggressive exercise routine.. like some heavy duty massaging.and well.. i would really like for this to be a walk in the park.

You girls are pretty amazing though.. Good Golly Miss Molly.. how weird is it that I stare at myself.. I mean how amazing is that I go to bed as flat as a six panel door and wake up looking like I have some serious boobs going on...

I am excited now.. excited to see how this all turns out..

ah.. the wind blows.. and that is the sign to let go of my dream boobs... and drift off to another wonderland.


  1. You are the lucky one! What a great new adventure!

  2. You are too funny! LOVE YOU!

  3. Wow, calling the boobs down.....I urging mine to take a hike towards the chin! I can't wait to see the girls!

  4. Hysterical, with the fantastic Barb perspective. So glad you're hanging in there. Just wish I could be there in person for what I am sure will be a Grand Unveiling at BOOBS. You're doing great, girl. xoxo

  5. LOL! So freaking funny. Even funnier is the fact that if I thought a seance would LIFT my boobs, I'd do it! Let me know if it works. :)

  6. I was wondering who is going to so the "some heavy duty massaging". Sounds interestingly fun.

  7. Sweet Barbara...I hope there is mystical boob healing tonight!!

  8. Nothing like a good seance to make things go well. I love it. This was hilarious!!

  9. While you got yours in the seance could you ask mine to head north... LOL

  10. sounds like you are on some good drugs Barb! My daughter had the same issue and had to massage and wear some torture device-type band around them to push them down but it did work!

  11. Crackin' me up! I hope the seance gets it done

  12. I am soooo jealous!!!!

  13. Wait!!! I could totally feel the vibes of the seance down here in MD! I'm sure it started to do the trick... They're moving, it's just very slow!

    I can't wait to meet them (and you too)!

  14. Tell Thelma and Louise to just think of my boobs, then they'll know exactly what direction to take!

  15. Is your doctor cute? 'Cause a boob massage by a hot doctor might be pretty awesome! Just sayin'...

    I'm glad you are lovin' the new look. I hope the pain isn't that bad!

  16. Good lord, do I love you. :)