So this morning was my visit for Fill Number 2.
[Here is a long post.. so bear with me]
I am very fortunate in that my doctor/surgeon is located less than 20 minutes from my home. So distance to travel has never been an issue for me.. the challenge has been with getting appointments (yes there are that many fat people in the world and they are very busy making them thin).
Now, mind you, I have been calling and telling the office that I have no restriction (see older posts) and can I PLEASE HAVE AN EARLIER APPOINTMENT. So they bump me up two whole days..
Which brings me to today..
I arrive to the office on time [I am punctual, it's a pet peeve and it annoys the hell out me when other people make me late]. I get on the scale and there is the number.. I lost exactly 1 pound over the last six weeks. Please DO NOT TELL ME (at least you lost weight). I know why I didn't loose weight. It's because I am hungry and have not shut my pie hole, so let's get that out in the open and then drop it.
As i was waiting for my doc to come in, I do the usual inspection of the exam rooms.. I am in compliance, so I usually check calibration dates on instruments, expiration dates on reagents, labeling,... you know the whole compliance game.. everything appears to be in order.. then my eye caught a poster on the wall.. it was a product promo for the Realize Band (the brand installed in my belly). The brightly colored poster was divided into 3 color coded sections..
The first section boldly states : Is your band too light.. The next section is in a happy color and asks Is your band just right or and in a blue color asks Is your band too tight....
Directly underneath each heading were some descriptors for what you should be feeling in each of these scenarioss. Under Too Light.. it states the first question:
Are you hungry? I answer -YES
Do you find your self wanting to snack? YES
Do you find that you have little to no restriction when you eat full proteins? YES DAMN IT I DO.
Well then perhaps you are Too Light and need a fill.
Haven't I have been saying that for 4 weeks....I sigh and wait for the doc to enter, but before he does the NUT (nutrionist, but I like calling her the nut) walks in.. Now if you didn't pick it up in my tone... I can not stand her.
With her skinny pointy nose, she nasals her way through a list of quesitons:
Are you eating your protein?.. YES.
Are you taking in enough calcium ?YES,
your vitamins? YES YES YES ...
stop it with the same dumb ass questions.. Do I look like I am not eating enough... (in my mind I think go away.. just go away)...
Anyway, next walks in my cutie doctor and he says I hear you have no restriction.. hmm that's unusual since I gave you 6 cc's on your first fill and I usually only give half of that on the first fill
Hmm... I think. Maybe I have a leak.
Before I say what i am thinking, he says it would be unusual for me to have a leak this early.
What does that mean, that usually later you have leaks!!!
I blurted, "I want this thing good and tight".. and the doc looks up at me and says, no you don't... you want it just right. (he drank the poster kool aid but yeah ....that's what I meant).
I lay back on the examining table.. he gives me the usual shot of lidocaine to numb the belly area. He pulls out the saline to see what I really had floating around in that band.. hmm 5cc's.. Well we lost 1 cc somewhere..he says.
I will put 6cc in and that should work for you.. now drink this cup of water. Once again, I drink and drink and I told him I did not feel anything.. He told me that you shouldn't feel anything and that you should be able to drink liquids with no problems.
Oh really... I think to myself.. well then why don't you give me a ham sandwich and see if that gives me some restriction..
We got talking about the poster, too light and too tight feelings.. and then he said you really should be able to eat what you want but just not to the levels you did before.. He did emphasize that at any point I have discomfort with nasuea, heartburn or not being able to keep solids down to CALL and get it addressed. We said our goodbye's with his last farewell that he expects to see me at least 5 pounds lighter over the next 4 weeks. Yippee I thought, I will take that..
As I drove off to work, I thought, wow, he must think that 6cc's is that magic spot I have been dreaming about...
As I was driving I was thinking about what I will be eating for lunch, and that I just know after a bite or two I am going to be soooooooo full... well.. ta da.. I just had my lunch and again.. I have no sense of fullness.. I ate the whole damn thing.... and I didn't need to chew chew chew or sip sip sip.. It's just the same feeling as before (WTF)... This is so frustrating.. why do I not feel restriction. It's as if my stomach has a silicone lining and food just flies through... unfortunately at some point in the digestive process it manages to grab on to some fat cells in my ass.
Ok, I really need to get back to work (it still is very crazy) but I am going to eat some heavier foods for dinner and see if that makes a difference.. in the meantime.. may the restriction be with you my friends, because I just ain't feelin it just yet... be well.