I was going to do a vlog (and I still may) only it's 2:00 in the morning. And why you may ask am I blogging at such an early hour? Well, I really over did it today in the sun.. and I just can't lay on my back, front or on my sides.. yes, I have aloe'd myself to the point of being a walking slime blob..
So here I sit, catching up on blogs.. and (God help me, checking work emails.. I know that is a sickness).
Anyway, vacation has been great.. we are at a fantastic resort, and really in the lap of luxury. I have probably consumed more than the recommended amount of alcohol that the AMA would endorse, but what the hell .. it's vacation. On the eating front... eh.. let's not go there.
One irony here, I have never had so much exercise in my life. I mean I am swimming and walking and playing golf.. what's up with that??
Although I have had a few spa visits, I have not stepped onto a scale.. but I did see a public scale in the supermarket down here called PUBLIX.. I mean this thing is right in the front door for all to see. I did give it a glance, but there was just way too much foot traffic for me to jump on for a quick peek (maybe later in the week).
Ok, a little story to tell with the picture below.. now this is not the most attractive picture of me, but I think you will appreciate my stress moment.
The resort that we are staying at has a fantastic lazy river for tubing. On this particular day, I decided to wear this (cute for a fatty) swimsuit. Now mind you, the top is held up by a rather thin piece of cloth. And to be honest the suit was probably a size too large, so not a whole lot of support up top.
So there I am floating around on my tube, and decide to try to get off and go back to our pavillion (which had a private pool boy.. but that's a whole another post). There I am in the sun, struggling to get off the tube because my ass is stuck to the plastic ... so I rock the tube as hard as I can to try to flip myself off, and oh yeah.. my whole left boobie flies out of my swim suit for ALL THE WORLD to see.
OMG.. it was a real boob tube experience.
So there I am ... completely mortified, trying to sling my boob back in my bathing suit, while trying to hold onto that damn slippery blue tube.
I finally get back to our area, and my mother says to me, " you aren't going to believe what I just saw.. some poor lady was trying to get off the tube and her breast popped out of her bathing suit"..
Oh really mom!!! that BOOB WAS MINE!!
So that concludes week one of vacation.. and today starts week two.. and my goal for this week is to not have my ass crack or boob on display (at least not in public).
Be well.
Ouchy on the sunburn! Really made me laugh that your mother didn't realise it was you trying to go off the tube! Enjoy the rest of your vacation.
ReplyDeletelol Done that myself re: the boob thing. Mortifying for my while a 14 year old boy copped an eyeful.. sheesh.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you're having fun though. Love the pic of you in the tube. OUCH!! To the sunburn. That hurts.
Funniest post EVER, Barbara. That's too funny, I *love* that your mom saw it and had no idea it was you. Sorry about the too much sun thing, it's amazing how quickly we get burned down there, isn't it? The good news is, you are no longer vitamin D deficient! (Take it where you can get it.)
ReplyDeleteBe careful with the sunburn and ouch! I live in Florida and LOVE PUBLIX! I know the scale you are talking about, they have a blood pressure machine also. My DH jumps on the scale with his size 12 sneakers just to make me cringe. 180 lbs of him! Hate his guts! Enjoy the rest of your trip!
ReplyDeleteThankyou for giving me a laugh this morning. Even DH asked me what I was laughing about. Too funny. Guess you need a smaller bathing suit! Sorry about the sunburn-ever heard of waterproof sunblock. LOL. I love the comment from you mom. Guess everyone was looking at the boob and not the face. Have fun for the rest of the vacay.
ReplyDeleteAnd I wonder why a supermarket would have a scale at the door.
Freaking hilarious. I needed that this morning............hahha! HAve a great time!
ReplyDeleteUghh- that's something that would totally happen to me. Sorry about the burn - I'm a good one for those too.
ReplyDeleteGlad the rest of the vacation is good.
Ha Ha how funny? Those lazy river tubes are unflattering and hard to get out of for everyone. But at least you had fun. Careful on the sunburn for the next week x
ReplyDeleteI absolutly adore Florida so I am very jealous and would even consider flashing a sunburnt boob just to be there.
Oh, the old "boob" slippage? Yeah, you're in "the" club now! Embarrassing, but now you can check that off your list, and never worry about it again...
ReplyDeleteOMG!! Love it! That is a GREAT story. Hope you have a wonderful rest of your vacation!!
ReplyDeleteYou paint quite a picture my friend...that's the funniest thing I heard in awhile. Don't worry...no one there knows you...apparently not even your mother...Yikes.
ReplyDeleteDude...I didn't know you golfed...I golf. Definitely that's got to be a part of our future as I rarely have a crew to play with...besides my guys at the office...I'm the only chick.
Hope your 2nd week is awesome. Can't believe me and the hub will meet you and your hub next month. Until then, we've got another Sunday Phillies game tomorrow...how about Jamie Moyer last night???
Burns are no fun, but at least you had fun getting it. Sorry if I missed it on your previous post, but where are you vacationing? Sounds like a great resort. I haven't gotten my big ass on a tube in a long time, which sucks because I love the lazy rivers. Sorry about your boob experience.
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to your boob flash!! LOL
ReplyDeleteI accidentally flashed myself to our "friend" from Holland while swimming in my parents pool while I was still young and in good shape! But I couldn't have been more mortified!!