18 July 2010

Want a Laugh

Excerpt from...



  • Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
  • Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
  • Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
  • Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the house just before your husband arrives.Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
  • Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
  • Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
  • Be happy to see him.
  • Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. He's worked hard all day and a friendly face is much appreciated!
  • Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Come on, give the guy a few minutes to relax already! Let him talk first - remember his topics of conversation are more important that yours.
  • Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
  • Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
  • Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
  • Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
  • Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
  • Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
  • Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember he is the master of the house and as such will always excercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
  • A good wife always knows her place.
Your thoughts... (because I am still wiping the tears out of my eyes).. dream on hubby..


  1. Seriously - I couldn't even read this whole thing. I had to go vomit. LOL

  2. I think this made me stroke-out from anger...then I puked a la Draz ;)

  3. I read this years ago...and it's no less hilarious now than it was then. Written by a man, obviously! I love how you shouldn't trouble him, even if he wants to stay out overnight! Um...ok! As long as he lets me know in time to get my hot boyfriend over! lol!!

  4. OMG- too funny. This was some man's ultimate fantasy.
    If my DH came home and found I was little gay that would be interesting. :)

    I do always put ribbons in my hair every night...

  5. Funny and scary at the same time.

  6. Total dream! Love it!

  7. This is exactly how I am!! I am a perfect wifey hahaha!

  8. I'm speechless - and that doesn't happen often!! :-)

  9. lmao You know, I was helping clear out my folks book cases a few years ago and came across 'The good womans guide to catering to her husband.' It was written and published in the 1950's and I couldn't stop laughing at the hints and tips. Almost identical to what you've written here. The 'prepare your children' one kills me lol. There was a bit in my mothers book about, fetching his slippers and pipe for him too. What are we, Fido?? Sheesh.

  10. HA HA HA! I LOVE it! Since I'm the only worker in my house these days, I'm giving this to my fella.