03 December 2010

Why Does GOD hate me..

Honestly.. just when I think I have a plan to refocus.. my world is turned upside down.

Not more than 30 minutes after I wrote my post this morning.. I received horrible news.
My husband was an emergency admit to the hospital.
I was at work and got the call.
He had gone to the oncologist office (after being away for two weeks) I knew this alone was not good.
And I think you all saw my earlier post..
But today.. his WBC was 1, his HgB was 5 and platelet's were 9...
For those of you who don't know what that means.. it means not good.. dangerously not good.
For the last two weeks my DH has had tremendous confusion..
Bottom line he urgently needed a blood transfusion and they feared a brain bleed or brain lesion .

So I spent most of my day and evening at the hospital.
They are in the process of administrating two back to back blood transfusions (this takes about 6 hours), and they did the MRI on the brain at 6:00.. we wont have a full report until the doctor gets the radiologist report.
The fear here is that low platelets alone (and these are really really low numbers) can cause the brain bleed...

I am numb.. I have no other words..  Here is my sweet heart. now in the oncology wing.. the nurse has the first bag of blood for the transfusion.. he is so out of it.. He lost 14 lbs in two weeks..
I wont know more until tomorrow.. my eyes hurt from crying.. I just want to cry myself to sleep.

31 comments:

  1. I am so, so, sorry (((gentle hugs)))
    praying for you both..

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  2. OMG - Barbara....I wish I was there. I'd hold your hand and bring you whatever you needed. I'm with you in spirit.

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  3. OMG, my heart just hurts for you. I wish so very much that there was something that I could do or say that would take this all away for you. I am so very sorry that you and your husband are having to go through this. Please just know that my heart, my thoughts, and my prayers are all with you.

    Sending you the biggest of hugs possible...

    ((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

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  4. Oh, Barb. I'm so sorry. I am praying for you and Mark. If there is anything we can do for you (even from a distance) please, please don't hesitate to ask.

    Love you.

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  5. You are on my mind and in my prayers. Prayers for you, your husband and the medical staff that is caring for him.

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  6. I'm so sorry to hear this news... I wish I was up there already so I could be there for you. If you need anything... I have a loose sibling to send your way. I will keep up the prayer... XOXO *Maria*

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  7. My heart hurts for you. Hugs from me. xoxo

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  8. I am so sorry Barb. I wish I could do something to comfort you. I am praying....and will continue to do so.

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  9. praying for you and your family.....

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  10. I love you Barb! Praying for you and sending big hugs your way xo

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  11. I love you Barbara! I'm praying for Mark and your family.

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  12. Barbara, I am saying a prayer for your husband and for you and your family. I will be thinking of you all.

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  13. Barb I'm so sorry. Praying for strength and sending lots of healing vibes for both of you.

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  14. My thoughts are with you during this time of the unknown. I pray that all will be OK.

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  15. I'm so sorry Barb, I'm praying hard for you both.

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  16. I am so sorry for you and Mark, Barb. I wish there was something for me to say to comfort you. I will keep him in my prayers and send a hug to you my friend.

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  17. Barb, I am praying for you as well. God loves you and your husband so very much. I know it doesn't feel like it, but He is there for you no matter what. Sending extra strong prayers this morning.

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  18. Oh and most important....God does not hate you. He does things that we don't understand for sure. I was told by a very religious person that everything that happens to us in life is part of a tapastry that we don't see until we die and go to Heaven...it is than that we can see the "why's" of everything that took place here on Earth and supposedly it will all make sense.

    Now, I just need to make sure I get to Heaven to see this thing cause right about now I am with you on this!

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  19. You and Mark are in my thoughts and prayers, Barb. Do not hesitate to email me if you need anything at all. We all love you and are hoping for the best for your family.

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  20. Barbara, I am so, so sorry for all of the heartache you and Mark are going through. Life is so difficult sometimes. I am praying for you both. I love you, sweetie.

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  21. I am so sorry... Thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family

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  22. I love you Barbara. Sending you and Mark many prayers.

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  23. Barbara. There are no words I suppose. But we are here. I wish we could be there.

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  24. Oh honey, I'm so sorry to hear this sad news. I'll be sending all my good vibes. XOXO

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  25. I have offer virtual hugs (OOOOOOO). I hope things get better. Take time for you doing this. I know it is difficult, but you are no good to anyone if you don't take care of you.

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  26. Just read this Sunday afternoon. So sorry you're going through this.
    We're all keeping you in our prayers.

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  27. My prayers are with you and your family at this time xoxoxo

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  28. This is so heartbreaking to hear. I can't imagine what you must be going through. I just..oh my gosh. I am sooo sorry.

    You will both be in my thoughts. I hope everything turns out alright.

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  29. I'm sorry to hear this. I'm praying for you and your husband. xoxo

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