24 February 2011

The Rest of the Story....

So.. to continue..

After I opened the envelope and read the letter the phone rang..
Of course, I was still stunned by where the letter came from and I thought for sure I would just blurt out to whomever was calling what I just received.

But it was not to happen that way.

The phone call came from a friend, who was apologizing to me .. because she did not come to the funeral services.. she came to the viewing the evening before.. but not to the church or cemetery.

I immediately said no worry, I know Mark was in your heart that day..
And she said .. well there was a reason..and she wanted to tell me.

She had to go to Penn the day of Mark's funeral.
To get some results.

That day, the doctor told her she had Stage IV lung cancer (has spread to lymph nodes).
She is 34 with two adorable small children, and loving husband
She is a non smoker
She is an athlete
She has cancer... bad.

She told me that it started with a sinus infection in the fall.
Where the doctors gave her this prescription and that prescription
and the sinus infection and cough was persistent.
Her husband said time for a new doctor.. and found an ENT in NYC.
They went.
He said lets get an xray
It was there... the mass and
then the bronchoscopy and then the PET scan to confirm the spread into the lymph nodes.

She said she didn't want to tell me while Mark was going through all that he was.. but now..
Now she really needed to tell someone..

I was and am still stunned.
I wanted to scream... WHY WHY WHY>.
but I could not do that..
She is calling me .. to tell me.
Me.. who is so sick of the word cancer..and now my friend...

She is the sweetest person in the world.. the best mom (she doesn't dump her kids off or shuffle them off with the au pair like some in my town).

I wonder why this happens.. and now I wonder if I have the strength to see/be with someone going through this again.
But, I will.
So hug your babies, hug your partner and loved one.

Life is too freakin short


  1. Barb...my heart goes out to your friend and her family...and to you as well. As hard as it is sometime...I still believe in the healing power of prayer. I will pray for your friend as I pray for you.

  2. OMG!!! This is too much! Once again and STILL--

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours!

  3. Oh Lord! That's just what I didn't want to read. I am so sorry you're going to have to go through this again. Truly, your heart has suffered enough.

  4. How awful, I'm so sorry for your friend. S

  5. Dear God, when will this all end? I am so sorry for your young friend. So sad.

  6. This is just too much. Very scary.

  7. I just can't understand. I just can't. Things like this completely test my faith...

  8. Ugh. That is so sad and hurts my heart. I'm so sorry. So, so sorry.

  9. OMG - this is just too, too much!!!

  10. Pei pa koa is pretty decent cough medicine (from herbal as I remembered), great non alcoholic medicine, some western cough medicine are more effective, but this is non drowsy.

    You can access info online @

  11. Ugh. There is a reason my grandma whispers the word "cancer" like it's a swear word. It's evil.