12 June 2011

What is it About Life....

.... that makes us want to keep plugging away at it?

I hate to get all philosophical on you so early on a Sunday morning.
But I have to tell you this thought creeps into my head with almost every day that passes.

When you think about it, we are all so unique as individuals. But stick us in a room together, and there really is not much difference.

We all have some level of crap going on in our lives.
We laugh, we stress, we cry, we rejoice, we doubt and second guess ourselves.

 I tend to be a drama mama at times, and ask myself why I put myself through so much self criticism.
Because at the end of the day, I wouldn't change a thing in my life (except one  thing of course).

But here we are.. plugging away, trying our darnedest to make good choices, be joyful, look on the bright side of things, get angry, get mad, yell, scream, curse and then get happy again.

So, how does this all relate to the band....
No matter if we are fat, thin or just right... the emotions still come at us, and maybe for different reasons, but they are there..

This is my aha moment.
I was (and at some small level until pukedom) am an emotional eater.

I truly can't even begin to imagine what I would weigh now if not for the band.
The first few weeks after my husbands death, I shut down, but a some point I realized I still had to get up in the morning and face the world and the crap storm that follows.

How I would have dealt with that would have been to pacify the emotions with food, and probably lots and lots of ice cream. 
I cant even remember the last time I sat down with ice cream,  maybe a year ago..but the memory is faint

Now, I let those friggin emotions hit me head on... does it cause me anxiety.. hell yes!!
Does it destroy who I am.. no.

So my aha moment is that life is a bunch of emotions stringed together..
Emotions tied to experiences
And that my friends is what life is all about.. experiences and the lingering memories..

be well


  1. Fabulous post! Thanks!

  2. Great post Barb! I am so proud of you and just wish my sister had the opportunity to know you. I think you would be so good for her in your outlook on life.

  3. Incredible post.. Thank you!

  4. Barbara, one thing I learned about your blog is that you are incredibly resilient and strong. I admire these qualities so much. And I value getting to know you virtually...even in your hard times you have been a mentor.

  5. absolutely brilliant!!!

  6. A year without Ice Cream...holy schnike...I can't seem to go 2 weeks.

  7. You are strong as Rachel said. Your post is really resonating with me right now. I have a lot of emotions that I need to let hit me straight on - but I just don't know what to do with them. I want to go to bed and sleep/hide and the other part of me wants to exercise to exhaustion. I don't know what to do with some of the anxiety I'm feeling but I know I want to do something with it and not eating emotionally has left me unsure what to do with it. How do YOU handle it? What makes you keep pushing, keep getting up? How did you step outside of shutting down and not stay there?

  8. I miss you Babs! When are we getting together, Pre or Post Boobies? XOXO *M*