Freakin scale is bouncing around on me..
I want to blame it on the boob weight..
Its not that.
I bought a bag of Bliss chocolates and have been popping them in my mouth and just letting them melt.
I still have some intense periods of anxiety..off and on..
I was on a business call from 9 pm to 1am this morning with our office in Shanghai.
After the call I was freakin wired.. I could NOT fall to sleep
So what do I do.. I went downstairs and made a bowl of SpecialK with strawberries.. trying to use my disciplined food choice skills.
That went down just fine.
Then I wanted CHOCOLATE.
It was 2 am and I am sitting in bed with two yorkies and 7 pieces of chocolate.
The scale screwed me over this morning and now I am upset with myself.
I think someone asked this question on their blog.. do we EVER EVER EVER let go of stress eating?
I try so freakin hard to discipline myself to NOT FU.. but it still happens.
So around 3 am, I decide I am not going to fall asleep and need some help.. take meds, and off to la la land I go ONLY to wake up at 9 am!!..
HELLO.. I should be in the office by 8 am..
What is up with me!!
I just have so much going through my mind these days..
Alot of self evaluation
What do I really want in life ,
Where do I want to go
Do I want to stay here or relocate
Do I want to continue to throw myself into my job or just simplify life
You know that whole reflection on life thing..
The question I have is why do these thoughts converge at 3 am!!!
I am finding myself just wanting to enjoy life, to have fun, to not be so ruled by the corporate world. The 10 -15 hour days are getting old.. I really don't want to do this forever..
You always hear about people who enter their 50's and wanting to do a major shift in their life, I never really understood that.. but now I do.
Kids are gone, husband is gone..its me and two yorkies
So now I need to figure this out.
I need to sort and organize these random thoughts.. I am definitely at a turning point.. Its exciting and scary at the same time..
Have a great day..