19 March 2012

Finding IT

I still struggle a lot with trying to figure out life. I have spent such a large portion if my life filled with worry It's crazy I know my anxiety is the root cause of my weight issue. What makes me shake my head is that the act of shoving food down my throat does not fix a damn thing You would think after many decades of this behavior I would have figured that out. But no... As I drove home from Boston this weekend all kind of things filled my head. Despite the reassurance I received that it was all going to be ok I still let my emotions get the best of me. And guess what? That thing I worried so fiercely about... Um it actually turned out to be ok. No wait it turned out to be a wonderful reassuring experience. Just like I was told it would be. So I continue to try to find it. It being that point where I can allow myself to not let things consume my emotions. It's the thing that prevents me from fully healing From allowing me to embrace the motion of moving forward. The good news is that I know that the eating irresponsibly does not fix a damn thing. There is no good return on that action. It just makes me feel worse. Food has its place in my world but it shouldn't be my fix for anxiety. No deep breathes and a realization that there are too many things that are going in the right direction to allow what I can not change ruin it all. Not one damn bag of m&M's or ice cream or pieces of chocolate will fix that or me. That is what I have come to learn in life. Be well


  1. As a fellow anxiety sufferer, I can so relate!! Intellectually, I know that eating a bag of chips won't fix anything but putting it into practice is hit or miss sometimes. It's still a work in progress...

  2. So true. So very, very true.

  3. Yup. We are all on the quest to find IT. And together we will.

    I found "X" but I don't know what to do with it. Maybe give it to a mathematics guy along with "Y". Come on--didn't that make you smile. Just a little?